Zo verander je volgens deze psycholoog je ‘seks-mindset’ en verrijk je jouw seksleven

According to this psychologist, this is how you change your 'sex mindset' and enrich your sex life

Source: METRO

According to American psychologist Joel Block, our thoughts and behaviors have more influence on our sex life than we may realize. Because sometimes we firmly hold on to a certain view of sex and impose restrictions on ourselves and our partner. Can you reverse that mindset? Then that can have a positive effect on your sex life.

According to him, you can change your mind in a few simple steps.

Psychologist Joel Block on our view of sex

According to the psychologist, it is about changing behavior towards sex. For example, he gives the American Psychology Today a way of thinking about the female orgasm, a theme about which there is quite a lot of ignorance. “Suppose you believe: 'My partner cannot have an orgasm during sex'.” Then you can also change that mindset, according to Block. “My partner and I can learn more about her needs and desires to have an orgasm during sex.”

13 mindsets for a better sex life

Sounds simple, if Block puts it that way. But it still regularly goes wrong with regard to the sexual experiences. One or both bed partners experience an unsatisfied sex life. That is why the psychologist lists a number of ways of thinking or behavior that he believes can improve your sex life. Because Block emphasizes that the right attitude leads to energy and positive thoughts lead to positive actions.

1. Knowledge

Knowledge is power, goes the well-known saying. Block emphasizes that there are still many misconceptions and myths surrounding sexuality and sexual desire. Something that sexologist Elise van Alderen also told Metro about. 'No female orgasm? That's a sexual defect in the woman' or 'Men who come quickly have an intimacy problem.' Sexual myths that don't benefit our sex life, according to Block.

2. Courage

According to the psychologist, good sex takes a little courage. Because, according to Block, we shouldn't let fear and shame hinder us. Fear of failure, fear of looking 'crazy' or fear of not living up to your own or someone else's expectations. That kind of fear or embarrassment keeps bed partners from trying new things, experimenting, or communicating about your true needs.

3. Freedom

Block emphasizes that sexual freedom has nothing to do with 'must'. Sex is about 'wanting'. What do you and your partner want? That matters.

4. Engagement

The psychologist explains that you get the most intense sexual experiences by being involved with your partner. Do you focus only on your own sexual performance? Then you deprive yourself and your partner of intense sexual experiences.

5. Trust

People experience the best sex when they feel safe enough to be vulnerable. We only really let go of our inhibitions when we know that our bed partner accepts us completely.

6. Generosity

Just like in 'normal' life, it also pays to be generous in the bedroom. Giving and sharing enriches the sex life of yourself and the other.

7. Communication

A subject that turns out to be essential for a good sex life. With good communication, you can explain your needs without hurting anyone's feelings.

8. Loving Sex

According to Block, the most satisfying sex happens with partners who love each other.

9. Be willing to get help

The psychologist explains that not all sexual issues or bumps can be solved in a snap of the fingers. But as far as he is concerned, sexual problems do not have to mean the end of a relationship. No, a couple who wants to solve things is also able to ask for outside help. From a sexologist or relationship therapist, for example.

10. Good health

Taking good care of yourself also has its benefits for your sex life. When you feel good, you will also experience things better. Physical complaints, fatigue, stress or other defects will also have an impact on your sexual experiences. Block explains that a person cannot control all health issues, but that a healthy lifestyle influences your health and contributes to your sex life.

11. Equality

Inequality or sexism cause you to limit yourself and your partner. "The man initiates sex" or "The woman must be submissive" are such mindsets that limit sexual freedom. According to the psychologist, a narrow-minded and sexist attitude of one or both partners results in a limited erotic experience. Just as limited as the mentality itself.

12. Sensuality

According to Block, sex is more than chasing an orgasm. It is an erotic process, of which the different phases are all important. Once partners focus more on the sensual pleasure and process, it will enrich the sexual experience.

13. Humor

Finally, Block emphasizes that we take sex way too seriously. It should be an enjoyable activity, which can also be quite funny or awkward. If you can laugh together about some bumbling in bed, it saves a lot of embarrassment and fear of failure.

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