Are you on your phone again?

The word phubbing is derived from the English words phone and
snubbing (snubbing, reprimanding).

A study by Baylor University shows that the
smartphone has a negative effect on the connection
felt in relationships. As a relationship therapist I can confirm that; in my
In practice, the mobile phone is a topic in almost every project
of conversation.

The telephone is a 'beautiful' instrument to relieve tension in your relationship
escape and avoid difficult conversations. Or the difference in
telephone needs cause conflict. The other does not feel
seen, unimportant or think that the other person is being secretive.

A number of tips if telephone use makes your relationship 'poor':

#TIP1 Set boundaries and make agreements

Discuss together what acceptable telephone use is and make agreements
about when it is appropriate to use phones and when it is not.
For example, create phone-free zones or times, such as during
eat or before you go to sleep.

#TIP2 Involve your partner

Let your partner actively participate in your phone use if that
is comfortable. This could mean, for example, that you continue together
messages or shares certain activities on the phone. On that
way, the phone becomes less of a source of mystery and more
a 'together'.

#TIP3 Plan digital detox days
Consider scheduling a digital detox day every now and then
you consciously distance yourself from electronic devices. This can be a
are a good way to strengthen the relationship and focus on each other
lay.

#TIP4 Research the position
Do you use the telephone to avoid conversations? What are
you, or what are you both avoiding? What problems are going on
you out of the way, and what it takes to start the conversation and the
put your finger on the sore spot?

Featured

A TV in the bedroom or excessive telephone use can be avoided
various reasons can sabotage a pleasant sexual relationship. "He
is more connected to his phone than to me." "She joins in
sleep during the series". "We don't talk through a conflict properly". And
what if a partner first wants to feel connected sexually
to be receptive?

Sexologist NVVS Daphne Kemner made a beautiful one for InBalansOnline
online program about regaining pleasure in sex. A programme
which you can largely follow individually, with insight
assignments to do together with your partner.